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Top 10 reasons computers must be male:
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10.  They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
  9.  A better model is always just around the corner.
  8.  They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
  7.  It is always necessary to have a backup.
  6.  They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
  5.  The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
  4.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
  3.  The lights are on but nobody's home.
  2.  Big power surges knock them out for the night.
  1.  Size does matter

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 Top 10 reasons compilers must be female:
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10.  Picky, picky, picky.
  9.  They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
  8.  Beauty is only shell deep.
  7.  When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
  6.  Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
  5.  Always turning simple statements into big productions.
  4.  Small talk is important.
  3.  You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
  2.  They make you take the garbage out.
  1.  Miss a period and they go wild
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